"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell

2591550-R1-E324.jpg (91538 bytes)I never 0558000-R1-060-28A.jpg (86734 bytes) expected to live the life that I live. When I was in high school, I wanted to have lots of kids (6) and be a teacher. I never aspired to public speaking, or working a crowd at a party.  Intentional conversations, performance deliverables, collection calls, debt to equity ratios, immigration policy-where did all that come from? 

2007-07-10 053231.JPG (181663 bytes)Recently Iíve looked at the direction my future is headed and I havenít been sure that itís where I want to go.  This makes me think about people with many responsibilities. Were they ever apprehensive? Did they ever say I canít do this? I donít want to do this? Lately when the pressure of my life becomes too much I find myself looking for a way out. I peruse the help wanted ads in the places where I would like to live. I consider my options. I search for a way to get out of all of this. Perhaps that is the problem. Maybe I just donít see who I could be or who I actually am. Why do I get overwhelmed and frightened? Why do I scurry to flee?

Also fueling this desire to flee, is a bit of stress due to the choices my children are making. When I feel overwhelmed, the first thing I do is look for the easy way out. The easy way out isnít always the best. A quick fix isnít always the solution. Last night I ran a fast two miler through the neighborhood. I felt light and free. I created a slight breeze as I ran through the warm summer air. I relished the feel of my thin running shorts. No gloves, no ear warmers. It was fabulous! As I finished running I thought gee that was easy, and then I appreciated the change I made when I turned forty. Back then I weighed more, my blood pressure was rising and I could not run a mile nonstop. I never expected to get that way either.

Recently I read this article: Racing Faster-Racing and Aging and the author suggests that you track your PRís for five year age group increments. I had never thought of that. We change and yet we keep the old picture in our mind. We donít change the plan. We mentally create our own shortcomings. Itís time to change the picture and move forward.

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" The greatest limitations we face are those we impose upon ourselves."
- Howard J. Herman