Classification Essay

Kelly had an English Comp II essay to write and here are the details:

The Assignment:
Classification Essay 750+ words (2 pages)
Write an essay in which you classify something. Make sure you discuss the different characteristics of each classification. Make sure you make YOUR OWN CATEGORIES for example: if you discuss rides at an amusement park do not classify them as water rides, roller coasters, kiddie rides etc...instead use "puke rides" "sissy rides" or "letting you down rides"

She asked me to read it before she turned it in and I liked it so much that I thought I would share it with you...

princess.JPG (481481 bytes)My favorite thing about waking up every morning is sneaking a peek at my precious, little, fifteen-pound dog curled up in a tiny ball right next to me in my bed, sleeping peacefully. On the occasions that I sleep in past my alarm, she is always there hovering over my face with her long, feather-like tail wagging patiently for me to rise and shine. I am not the only dog-lover out there who lets their dog sleep in the same bed with them. People are attracted to these animals because of the undying love they show their master. There are so many different breeds of dogs that are raised in almost every country of the world. Purina, Eukanuba, and The American Kennel Club have all done their best to classify each breed into specific groups based on their size, demeanor, and purpose. However, there are three main groups of dogs that just about everyone is familiar with. Classifying a dog to be a yapper, a sidekick, or a beast can usually be done within a moment of watching a dog.

Have you ever seen somebody who has clothes, furniture, or even a car that is covered with hair? That hair must have been shed off of a beast. A beast is a type of dog that is usually kept outside. Beasts are generally large dogs over eighty pounds. All dogs love to run around and exhaust all of their energy, which is great; however when a beast has been playing, they acquire the beast smell. This smell can be equated to the horrific stench of the primate house at the zoo. After a long work out, the beast will always drink every last drop of any available water and slobber will trickle from their mouths for the next five minutes. Humans who own beasts should understand just how hungry these creatures are. They will eat even when they are not hungry, as if they are a bottomless pit. It is easy to identify when a beast is coming, besides the smell; just listen for the loud, boisterous panting escaping from their wide-open mouths. Beast type dogs cannot be taken anywhere with a human, like a yapper or a sidekick dog can.

doglovers.jpg (131580 bytes)A few days ago, I was walking through the mall and noticed a middle-aged lady carrying an oversized bag with a flat bottom and ventilation holes on the side. Upon further examination, I noticed a big pair of curious eyeballs shopping for clothes just like its owner! Being the dog-lover that I am, I anxiously walked up to the tiny animal to give it a gentle pat on the head and it immediately ducked for cover in the bag. I knew right away, this dog is a yapper. Yappers are particularly common in the "toy" or very small dog breeds. Yappers are recognized by their distinctive bark which is loud, high-pitched and persistent. They communicate like this usually when they are scared, unsure about something, or demanding attention. If that dog in the mall would have been in any other setting besides a purse, it would have yapped and yapped and yapped! The yapper type of dog will usually run up to humans at full speed until they get to your leg, at which point they will start bouncing off your leg and onto the floor and repeat this pattern until they are out of breath. No amount of scolding or attention can get the yapper to sit down until it is ready to do so on its own. The Chihuahua dog breed is the purest, most original form of a yapper. People tend to treat yappers like infants due to their small and vulnerable stature. These assiduous dogs understand how cute, frisky and helpless they are and swindle humans into working for them. In comparison, there are dogs that work together with humans and follow their every move like a sidekick.

The sidekick type of dog is the easiest for me to understand because I have had one for twelve long years. She is a Lhasa Apso breed and my best friend. While it may seem that a yapper could also be a sidekick type dog, there are distinct differences. Sidekicks, as opposed to yappers and beasts, get along with everyone they meet and do not have power dominance. They understand their role as a dog as well as a necessary companion to their master. A sidekick dog can be found sticking its head out the window of a moving car, with a big smile and its tongue left behind with the wind. Sidekick dogs are like having a child who looks up to you and wants to do everything that the older crowd does. They will play with anyone who wants to share their company. These furry and mirthful creatures are not concerned solely about themselves, like the yappers; they want to help their owners. Sticking to a routine is something that my sidekick loves, just as I do. I can without a doubt depend on her to greet me warmly, yet patiently, with a small kiss on my hand and of course a fluffy tail moving ninety miles per hour. I also always know when it is her bed time because she will take herself to her room and pass out.

happymonica.jpg (139575 bytes)While this essay may be biased, it certainly sums up three very distinct groups of dogs. Although each individual puppy varies by breed, treatment and care-taking, many of them will turn out to portray personalities such as those of the beast, the yapper, or the sidekick. The important thing is to love the dog for who it is. No matter what, dogs will always show unconditional love for caring humans. The beasts will make you smile when you need a big, sloppy kiss; the yappers will make you smile when you need a furry face to look at; and the sidekicks will make you smile by being your best friend day in and day out. But, regardless of their classification, every dog should be spoiled and treated like the wonderful companion that they are.