Two years ago I planted a row of jonquils along a portion of our front flower bed and then last year I added more jonquils. Jonquils are hearty and deer resistant. I envisioned a big yellow swath greeting me this spring. However the returning jonquils did not cooperate and I had a bed with big vacant gaps where the bulbs should have bloomed. These bulbs are easy to grow and are often touted for their ability to “naturalize.” This means that they will randomly grow in our area with ease. It didn’t pan out for me.
Disappointing results sometimes happen. The best laid plans don’t materialize despite the fact that you may have done everything right. Nowhere is this more apparent than when dealing with people. You know that old saying “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.” Well, with folks change, results and outcomes are not up to us. More often than we care to admit results are not up to us at all. In fact even with my own fitness I find the results unpredictable. Some days I go for a run and start out short of breath wondering where did that come from? Equally baffling are the other times I have started running feeling sluggish only to be surprised when I hit the “zone” and have a rave run.
Here’s a novel thought: let go of the results. Now the competitor in me finds this extremely difficult but frankly when I set aside results and enjoy the process I grow on the journey. Focusing on what I can do and the process gives me the freedom to accept. I am then able to accept the choices other people make. I understand that results are not in my control and I quit trying to conquer things I have no business battling. Feeling stressed? Let go of being driven by results.
“Always focus on your effort, instead of the results of that effort.” – Russell Simmons